Moongazy

On Sunday we attended a Celebration of the life of Joyce Rabia Purcell.  A wonderful woman who has been a considerable influence on my life, a spiritual godmother.  Her zest for life and concentration on the future rather than the past, always trying something new, was an inspiration.  It was held in Bradford-on-Avon where she ran a Centre many years ago. 

While we were in Wiltshire we took the opportunity to visit the standing stones at Avebury.  Once a massive Serpent Temple that ranged over the Marlborough Downs, now only a fraction of the original stones remain, the others were broken up, used to build the surrounding village and farms and sold for profit.  The area still has an aura of mystery about it and the size of the stones that are spread around give an idea of the majesty of the original site.  When you realise that it was built many thousands of years ago, without the benefit of modern equipment and that some of the stones weigh 50 tons, you realise how amazing  the work of the original builders and planners was.

One of the main reasons for visiting Avebury was to follow more of the Michael line of energy which I have mentioned before, written about in ‘The Sun and the Serpent’.  As with Glastonbury, Avebury is a significant part of this energy line and has many places where it crosses with the female energy or ‘Mary line’.  Using my new dowsing rods I was able to follow the lines through some of the areas mentioned in the book.  It was interesting to see the difference as you went through the entrance of a circle and the rods crossed until you left again.

The village and main road have grown up through the circles, but it doesn’t lessen the impact of seeing the great size of the stones.  Close by, and just as strange as it looms in the landscape, is Silbury Hill.  This is a man-made, flat topped structure that dominates the A4 as you pass by.  No one has ever really explained why it is there or what it is for.  There is some speculation that it was dedicated to the goddess and the Mary line does pass through it, so there may be an element of truth there.  The line comes through Silbery Hill  from Swallow Head Spring, a magical place that was hidden away down a hill.  It is a sacred spring that disappears in the Winter (swallowed) and returns in the Spring.  The small prayer ribbons (motifs) that decorate the ash trees surrounding the area show that the place is still important to many people.  It has a very peaceful atmosphere and the water is crystal clear.  In the photo I took the white rocks in the water look like a voluptuous woman in repose!

We tried to find most of the places mentioned in the book and visited them all except Windmill Hill.  There is nothing original left in the area known as The Sanctuary, but they have marked where the stones would have been.  The energy line runs strongly through the centre and you can see from the landscape where the great avenue would have come towards the sacred space.  Its significance has finally been realised, but too late for the stones that formed the original.

It is an area that is worth visiting if you are interested in our ancient heritage.  It is beautiful and  sure to make a lasting impression.  

Last night was a full moon and the first meeting of the Wise Women Circle.  Five glorious women came to my home and we talked, shared and listened to each others stories.  It was a very affirming evening.

Linda Heron Wind Ph.D. writes that “The wisdom of the Grandmother, the wise essence of the Crone, is saturating the planet at this time because now is the most vital time for such wisdom to be available …………..      Those who gather in Grandmother Lodges generate a stable, sacred structure of wise experience that the world can literally rest upon, be grounded by, and receive consistent spiritual support from, during these most intense times.”  These are strong words and very important in the way that they stress the value of the older women in our culture.  This is not always clear in the messages sent from the general media who tend to focus on youth and staying young as being the ideal.

The group, I hope, will support each other and learn new things from the wide range of talents that we have between us.  We can explore common interests and make our own ceremonies to celebrate special occasions.  Important to all of us was supporting our children, male and female, helping them to become confident individuals, happy in their own lives. 

Members have already talked to other friends about the ideas that brought us together and there seems to be a need for places for women to come and share.  Maybe I will put together some notes with ideas for them to use as a starting point.  The way forward is individual, but a map can be handy.

It was a good end to a busy week which I spent mainly in the garden.  The vegetable seedlings are growing well and I am sinking under a host of tomato plants.  Thank goodness for Freecycle, where I can give most away.  It always amazes me when the tiny seeds that you put in some earth grow into large green plants.  Even more amazing when they produce lovely things that you can eat or beautiful flowers to look at!  It is a very satisfying thing to do and I urge to to plant anything, even if it is just a pot of herbs on the windowsill, as the joy of eating something you have grown can’t be surpassed.

It has been nearly a year since my last post.  A time of great sadness has passed.  Star Mountain closed in July 2009 and a close family member died.  Both things brought a time of mourning and change.  I had learnt so much from my time at Star Mountain and made many friends, it was a deep wrench to see so much good work come to an end.  Thankfully new friends have stayed close and the work carries on in other places so not all was lost.

I spent a week in retreat in October on the beautiful island of Iona.  It was somewhere I had always wanted to visit and it didn’t disappoint.  It is a wild and beautiful place.  I wasn’t a perfect pupil on my ’silent’ retreat and had many scoldings from the person leading, but I think I learnt a lot from the experience.  It helped my personal practice in some ways, but also helped me to bring together the various things I am interested in and see how they fit together as a whole in my life rather than being in separate compartments.

Now I am busy with the garden again as the weather improves and the vegetable seedlings are growing.  There is some therapy work around and I am hoping to sell some of the cuttings of my herbs through our website.  It is so good to see the blossom and the bulbs coming out everywhere.

My biggest new project is to form a women’s group.  A ‘Moon Lodge’ for older women to celebrate their lives and their achievements.  So many of us have been busy with families and work,  looking after everyone else and not finding time for ourselves.  This will be a time to think and share and learn from each other,  to dance and chant and have a lot of fun.  I have been looking for a group to do these things with, but as I haven’t found one, thought I had better start one myself!  There has been some interest from friends so hopefully I won’t be on my own, but, there is no problem chanting, singing and even dancing alone!  Hope you have a chance to get into nature, celebrate life and have fun in the spring sunshine!

Further back than I care to remember, the 2nd Saturday of the month has always been when we run the LETS market in a church hall in town.  We don’t mind, most of the time, but knowing this Saturday is always booked can be quite restricting.

This week we were due to be working at a Taster Day for a local centre and someone else had agreed to take over the market.  All had been arranged and we were set for the tasters when we had a phone call on the Friday to say that no one had booked so we didn’t have to go.  What to do?!  The person taking over was quite happy and would have been there anyway so we decided to escape for the afternoon and do something different.  No decision was made on Friday night, but I woke up on Saturday with the thought of going to Brentor Church near Tavistock.   

We set off late morning and found our way fairly easily.  The church is on a prominent hill and can be seen from a long way off.  It is built on the plug of an ancient volcano and lava rocks can be seen all around, very different from the granite of the moor.  There are many stories of how it was built. One tells that the devil threw the building stones down the hill every night to stop progress until the parishioners prayed to St Michael.  He dropped a large rock onto the devil’s head and stopped his mischief.  The church was then dedicated to St Michael of the Rock.

The walk up can be steep or gentle depending on which path you take.  We went for the easy option, stopping to take in the panoramic views as we went around the hill.  You can see Kit Hill and some of the tors on Dartmoor.  The afternoon was very clear and warm.  There are a few gravestones around the church and two oaks like the ones you in Wistman’s Wood.  Seats are placed so that you can enjoy the peace and quiet up there.

The church itself is small and beautiful with a stained glass window of St Michael with his sword of truth and scales.  It is still used for worship.  We didn’t just visit for the tourist option though.  It is part of the ‘Michael Line’, a ley (energy) line that runs through St Michael’s Mount and the Cheeswring and onto Glastonbury Tor.  It is aligned with the May sunrise.  We had visited the Cheeswring last year and I had felt the energy of the line there and hoped to find it again.

We had forgotten to bring pendulums so just tried to feel the energy and we were confused as it seemed to be running in two directions.  Through the doors on either side and through the windows down the middle.  Not having a compass either we thought we would check which was correct when we came home.

We sat for a long while in the church enjoying the peace.  It had a very good atmosphere.  We ate our lunch on the hill outside looking at the view and the antics of the cows in the field below.  When we returned home and looked at the info on the web we found that the line passes about 3 metres from the church.  So we must have been feeling the energy of something else. They were plotted by Hamish Millar and Paul Broadhurst and chronicled in  the book ‘The Sun and the Serpent’.  The book is fascinating and has made me want to explore more of the line and maybe follow it from the bottom of Cornwall to Glastonbury Tor.  It was a great end to a great day. 

The moon was full at 4.52 today, just half an hour ago as I begin this!  So somewhere out there it is large and glowing.  Hopefully when it is dark it will not be hidden by the clouds and I can enjoy the sight of it riding through the sky when I am out catching the slugs who are trying to eat my veggies.  I throw them over the fence into the small wood behind the house.  I know they will only make their way back at some time, but, slimy though they are, I don’t like the thought of killing them with salt.  Time to get the slug pub out again - at least then they die happy - hopefully.

It has also reminded me that it is 3 years since my vision quest on Dartmoor.  That was an amazing experience, which gave me the name ‘Moongazy’ and a vision that I wasn’t sure of at the time, but it has come more into my understanding in the past few months.  The quest itself gave me confidence as it showed I could prepare and spend 3 nights fasting on my own  in an open place.  It also proved that the darkness has nothing in it to fear except things in my own mind and that I like to eat at regular intervals!  I had a drink of water when I was hungry and it  kept me going.

The preparation beforehand allowed me to decide that the reason for the quest was to say goodbye to my old life, which was changing in many ways and to welcome what the future had to give me.  The past three years have been an exciting journey of gaining knowledge and living in a new way.  It is not  reccomended to share your visions, but suffice to say that I knew that I was protected by many loving things and that this has become clearer since.  A new, more confident person has emerged from the experience, someone who starts each day with thanks and looks forward to what may come with the knowledge that we can always cope with what we are given if we let go.

Life lately has been a round of therapies and gardening with family stuff in the middle.  I ran a short course on meditation, introducing people to the basic methods so that they can start their own practice.  It went well and I feel happy that they have a skill that will last them throughout their lives and bring many benefits.  My own meditations have been varied.  Some have gone well, while other days the world seems to float around in my brain with thoughts buzzing everywhere.  I do look forward to my time in the mornings now.  However they turn out, it is a calm start to the day.

I decided against looking for a teacher and I am still working through things in my own way.  I want guidance occasionally, but things seem to turn up when they are needed.  So I try to let go and see what happens.  I met an artist who has been working with women’s issues around spirituality for many years.  She has introduced me to some writers on the subject of the place of women in the world.  The main consensus is that we are still struggling against the male domination in the majority of places with progress in some areas of the west.

There is a lot being written now about 2012, the end of the Mayan long calendar, and what it will mean for humankind.  A great shift is predicted, though there are many variations on what it will mean for us all, from a change in perspective to the end of the world as we know it.  It is also talked of as the return of The Great Mother.  There is much to learn in the next 3 years and it is hard to know what is right from the stuff out there at the moment.  Possibly we just need to wait and see what happens.

Today is officially the first day of spring according to the Met Office.  I always think of it more as the 21st March on the Equinox, but it is good to see some sunshine and flowers bursting out all over the place.  There is blossom on many of the trees now as well.  Animals and birds seem to be doing what comes naturally and having a lot of fun.  Courting squirrels use up a lot of energy rushing around each other.  Nature has some amazing mating rituals - many much more sophisticated than the chat up lines I have heard over the years - perhaps the male of our species could learn something from it all!  A male elephant will join the group around the female that they are interested in and spend a long time getting to know them all and protecting them.  If the female likes him he is accepted and will join the group until the mating which will be celebrated by all of them.  A few similarities to our courting rituals - apart from the public mating - could be a bit of a turn off for most of us.

After having a discussion last night, with friends who were very active in the women’s movement of the 70’s,  the mating rituals and habits of other species do seem more elegant than our own sometimes.  We were debating where the movement was now, what had it achieved over the years and the conclusions were very negative.

Concentrating mainly on life in England; We have more equal rights in some areas now.  Women are able to work where they wish, pay is most often equal for the same job and we feel that we ought to be able to ‘have it all’,  a career, a family, a loving relationship and be the perfect woman.  At what cost to ourselves?  Most often, having it all means doing it all, with not much support from others in our various life relationships.  the result is often dissatifaction with areas of our life and feeling that we have failed if it is not all perfect.

I think we are being to hard on ourselves, trying to live up to ideals produced by the media and big business of how we should live our lives and losing sight of the things that could be more important and fulfilling to us.  Many would say that working to keeping a roof over your head is the reason that their lives are so difficult, and I agree that looking after your family is the big priority.  It is the other pressures that we could ease up on,  To be slim, to buy the latest gadgets, to conform to all those pictures and stories thrown at us by the media every day.  What are the values we are teaching our children?

I do not have the answers. I wish I could wave a magic wand and give our children self-esteem and confidence, let them explore life through art and creativity of every sort and learn that kindness gets you further than aggression and makes your own life better.  Maybe my generation is to blame for the ideas we gave the parents of the children around around today.  How do we turn it around for the better?

Two months have flown by since I last had time to write anything.  Probably that is a good thing as it means I have been working, but it also means that I may not have been inspired enough to take time out from life. That is something I will have to watch.

It has been good being busy with therapies.  I enjoy treating people with Reiki,  you learn so much about different energies.  Every person varies in the way they absorb the Reiki healing.  Some feel light and very airy,  some have a strong earth energy.  Different parts of the body may seem to suck the energy out of your hands and you find that there is a problem there that they have not told you about.  Sometimes the energy coming through is so strong that my hands burn.  You never know at the start of a treatment what will happen, so each one is an adventure. 

It helps me to appreciate how different we all are, but also how wonderful as there is so much more to people than we see on the outside.  Would life be easier if we could read each others minds?  Or would it be too hard as we would not be able to have thoughts of our own.  Perhaps society would have evolved in a better way if we knew what the other person was thinking all the time.  We wouldn’t be so quick to judge if the other person could tell the thought was there!  It might not be so good if you wanted to break up with a lover though.  Trying to find all those excuses - maybe they would tune in and take the hint anyway.  I am not sure I would like to know what people really thought of me in any great detail either.  We are probably a long way from evolving that particular trait anyway.

As the year is progressing, spring is trying to make a start with all the bulbs coming through, lighter mornings and the birds singing their hearts out.  There is beauty among the gloom and doom around at the moment.  I hope you can find some in your life each day.

The Solstice is this Sunday, the 21st December.  It is the time of the new year in the pagan world, the return of the sun to warm the land and awaken nature to be ready to burst forth in the spring.

This year has flown by so quickly.  It has been an exciting and fulfilling time.  I have met many new fascinating people and learnt a lot about myself and my beliefs.  It has been an acceleration of what I have been trying to do for many years, finding the person that I really am and trying to live that life authentically.  It is a journey that still has a way to go, but I can sense that in some areas it is nearly complete.

Therapy has helped.  I have not sat down with a counsellor or psychologist, but I have worked with  shamans and my own meditations which have helped to identify and to clear the blocks that have been instilled since childhood and beyond.  We create so many of our own problems without realising what we do and I wonder what baggage my own children have that we have inadvertantly given them!

I hope next year will be as interesting and fulfilling as this one, with more of the fun side of life rather than the serious.  I shall make a resolution to indulge my ‘wild woman’ with many walks in the woods and by the sea; to celebrate the seasons and to rejoice in the beauty of life with the whole of my being.  I may even ask if a teacher will take me on for a while so that I can learn more disclipine in my daily meditations.  (I have found one who has many of the interests that I have.  But that is in the future - and he may not want to take me on!)  The journey continues.

It just remains for me to wish you all many blessings for the Season and the New Year ahead; may it be good for everyone.

Another month has rushed by between blogs.   Family stuff took up a lot of my time.  Now the daughter’s move back to the family home is complete and I sit surrounded by her life again as the computer is in her room!

I have tried to continue to work out my ideas of the Feminine at odd moments and in my morning time (still getting up early), but thinking of what has been keeping me busy reminds me of one of the main functions of a woman which is to nuture and protect the family.  The problem comes when this is perceived as the only function and her own needs are not noticed or fulfilled.

We have tried for the past few decades to ‘have it all’.  A good job, a family, an empowered life, freedom and equality with men, where has it got us?  Often we are tired and weary and our own deeper needs have not been met.  We have been trying to fulfil the masculine order of doing and acheiving.

Elisabeth Serra summed it up in a fascinating article in South West Connections.  She talked about opening to the Deep Feminine by being open to her own and others intimacy, pain and vulnerability and touching a new unknown and inner strength.

“I discovered a fierceness in my belly - a fierceness far deeper than our idea of the feminine being only good, nurturing and soft.  A tender fiercness that, like the ocean, could destroy to create new life.  ……..Despite all the talk of equal human rights, every infrastucture on the planet was still pointing at the one and only judgemental male God, who was allowing little vulnerability, had next to no realtionship abilities, and was very frightened of all that is earthy and human and deep, dark and feminine.”

Her way of ’standing with the Feminine’ embraced not attaining, but ‘being and resting in the simplicity of being unravelled, open and available to life.’

This sums up the confusion that I have felt trying to bring my own ideas of the feminine within me into the world that I have seen around me.  There has been no part for me as a true equal in this life as the reality still overvalues the masculine perspective,  the ‘do something’ approach.

The world is starting to yearn for change.  People are looking for community and ‘green’ values and much is being done towards finding a more emotional way of living where we care for others and what is happening in the world, but this way of thinking is dismissed by the governments around the world who concentrate on the harder economic and scientific ways of leadership.

If women ruled the world, they would have to do it from a deep inner perpesctive, not just taking on a cloak of masculinity and they would have to teach the men around them to look at life through their own inner vulnerability which has a capacity for compassion and a need for justice.  We need to ‘let power and love stand side by side … and care more about the whole than  ….. our gender images.’

History has been made this week with the election of a black American president - many who fought for equal rights through the 60’s and 70’s never thought that they would live to see that day.  Perhaps, with the changes that are being made in the human psyche, we can bring the feminine perspective to life and use it to change governments, stop the persecution of women and heal the world.

Time seems to fly by so fast between posts.  I come up with an idea that I want to explore and there never seems to be enough time to write it all down.  I didn’t realise it was a month ago that I wrote about the ‘Wild Ones’.

I went to an amazing workshop on the Sacred Feminine and was able to explore a lot of the strong female heritage that I come from.  Sometimes I spend so much time looking outside for answers and directions that I ignore what is a part of me and the most important.  My mother was one of 5 sisters, all of whom were women who lived through difficult times and coped well.  Her mother came to England to make a new life after the first world war with an injured husband and unable to speak English.  They all gave me a lot of love when I was growing up.  It wasn’t perfect,  I couldn’t step out of line as there seemed to be a Mafia network all over the city that reported back anything that I got up to and those memories of my life kept the actual strength and resiliance that I inherited from being appreciated.  Now I can look back and be proud of them all.

Life seems to be taken up with family and other committments, as it is for most people.  I have indulged my ‘wild one’ with visits to the beach and long moments in the garden enjoying the bird song and the beautiful sky.  Last night the moon was very clear and magical.  Part of me would like to live in a cabin in the woods and the practical side knows that I probably couldn’t afford it!!  So I try to bring nature closer wherever I am. 

There is a lot of opportunity to enjoy it in the city, from flowers and herbs in a window box to a large park or allotment.  Walking down a suburban street and looking over the walls at the varied gardens can be a pleasure.  This week I am looking forward to visiting the ‘Diggin It’ project, which aims to bring vegetable growing and the delights of gardening to the local community. www.digginit.org.uk  They are having an open day with talks and tours of the area.  I hope to get more ideas from their permaculture information and probably a chance to buy some very nice organic vegetables.  Later in the day our local LETS (Local Exchange Trading System) is having a meeting to discuss joining with a ’swap’ group to exchange unwanted items at our regular markets.  We were beginning to get into a rut of just sitting and drinking tea with no trading going on so this might inject some much needed enthusiasum. 

The ideas of becoming more self sufficient and wasting less are beginning to take hold in our communities.  It is a slow process which may be accelerated by the present economic crisis.  An interesting website to help people with practical ideas has been set up by a family trying to produce less stuff going to landfill - It is worth a look http://myzerowaste.com/2008/09/decluttering-zero-waste-style/ 

Well I must close.  I have some shelves that have been donated to the centre that need cleaning.  More movement of unwanted objects to needy places!